After our oldest child was born, there were many days that my husband and I thought that we couldn’t handle any more children. Our son was a tough baby. He was colicky. He never slept, and by that I mean he would wake up 8 or 10 times a night and he only napped if we were in the car. He was sick with colds, ear infections, and stomach bugs quite often.
I was working full time and he was in daycare which contributed to the poor sleep habits and frequent illnesses.
Some of you are probably thinking, “Well that’s just life with a baby!”, but as first time parents, we couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.
He had a great personality and we loved being with him, but we really needed some good quality sleep. Until that happened, we couldn’t considered growing our family.
When he was about 18 months, things started to get better and by the time his second birthday rolled around, we were ready to add to our family.
So when I took a pregnancy test on December 3, 2006 and it was positive, I was beyond excited! Not only were we happy to know that I was pregnant, but we were also relieved that it didn’t take us long to conceive. (It had taken us 18 months to conceive our oldest, but that another story for another post.)
I immediately started dreaming and planning for this new little life growing inside of me. Then two days later, I learned that I would not be carrying this pregnancy to term.
I was devastated! My husband was upset too, but it was different for him. He hadn’t made a connection with the baby yet, but I had. In two short days, I had so many thoughts about who this baby would be. What (s)he would look like. What (s)he would be when (s)he grew up. I thought about everything that this little life could possibly be or achieve.
The one thing I never thought about was losing this baby. The thought simply never occurred to me.
Yes I knew that miscarriage was always a possibility. My first pregnancy was uneventful (until the delivery, which again is another story for another post). I knew only one or two other women that had a miscarriage. So miscarriage just wasn’t something I was worried about.
I called my doctor’s office. They told me that I should go through a monthly cycle (so that I would have a LMP date to reference) and then we could try again. They were polite but not very sympathetic.
Luckily I had my husband and my son to help me go through the heartbreak I was feeling. Little did I know how many times I would need to lean on them during the next few years.
If you are going through the heartbreak of miscarriage and would like to chat with someone who knows what you are going through, please leave your email address in the comments and I will contact you.
If you missed part 1 of this series please click here to read it.